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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2006.04.02  22.22 The long lights reflecting tall gleams of still life but at this moment life doesn't appear too still... it seems filled, filled with smiles, laughs, friends, and unsettled bellies. A trip to the park, and our minds will never feel the same. The flowingly still lights still blur bright, as we lay... as we lay together! This is what it's like to really love life. last night was soooo much fun! <3<3> Music: Deer and the Headlights on the blaze 1260

	2006.03.15  01.32 so i almost died today.... that was interesting. i remember what almost dying feels like again. not as bad as you'd think though. i just thought about, while our brakes were giving on an icy mountain, how the last thing you think about before you pass on is about life. it really is an odd feeling, thinking about what you just thought about while the circumstances have completely changed. I drove out to Albuquerque on some pretty slippery conditions, it was pretty icy then too. the past few days were cool, chilling in new mexico. It's been extremely cold though. It's been hard to get warm. I read The Adventures of Alice and Wonderland and am almost done with Through the Looking Glass. Such cool books. Harry Potter doesn't have shit on those books. Well, I think I out of here. Just had to get out how i felt about almost dying. Thank you Wayne for getting us to Colorado safely. Thank you Walmart for the pita and hummus and new battery for the stinky egg smelling, battery acid explosion of a former battery. tomorrow is Saint Patricks Day! Drink Beer and Celebrate Green! Music: Sufjan Stevens "Illinios"

	2006.02.18  01.19 if i were a war hero, i would not feel suited to battle on this field. fighting is trying too hard to accomplish little but... to accomplish little is too easy this grass is dead and so is chivalry i'll turn my instep and march to a lively street yell telling tall tales of messes of armies all of your glorious glory's if it is fame you want ... only if we do not fight. tonight, we drink to the night. the slightest of breeze whispered across lobes, relative to thoughts of relatives and lost loves. steel hearts beat cold blood and... it feels as if i'll be lost between wants between dreams between visions so bright such divisibility in brootherhood makes each thing just seeings. another hullucination to trail the sight of the people til everything seems so undivisible ...'under god with liberty' i am not suited to fight, because i do not see the peace in what i do.

	2006.02.14  15.36 Robert Frost "He would declare and could himself believe That the birds there in all the garden round From having heard the daylong voice of Eve Had added to their own an oversound, Her tone of meaning but without the words. Admittedly an eloquence so soft Could only have had an influence on birds When call or laughter carried it aloft. Be that as may be, she was in their song. Moreover her voice upon their voices crossed Had now persisted in the woods so long That probably it never would be lost. Never again would birds' song be the same. And to do that to birds was why she came." Happy Valentines Day/Singles Awareness Day! haha Hope everyone has a good one! Mood: nerdy

	2006.01.27  08.10 Happy Birthday Mozart!

	2006.01.19  02.43 alright. officially, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ADAM!!!! thanks for the awesome night out. ....and my first experience puking blood. haha Music: semi-charmed kind of life

	2005.12.16  13.35 all i want for christmas is you.

	2005.12.14  00.35 so yeah... i broke my right hand, maybe. i dunno though. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! she is 42 and still looking young! i love her! my car got towed, but overall, a pretty fun night. i just owe some money to some sexy sounding car towing lady, who i apologized for being rude. i asked her if she slept well at night for towing people's cars, she asked me why i asked that. i said i was sorry. i really was. thanks for helping me get home nicole and sophia, i appreciate it. thanks for hanging out guys! anyways, here is to tomorrow! cHEERS! Mood: drunk Music: jimmy-clarity

	2005.12.13  01.50 so on saturday, we had a show, then joels' 20th birthday party. i jumped in a pool naked, now i have a runny nose and cough... coincidence? i think not. haha you live and you learn, and you eat burritos with the money you made from jumping in the pool. happy happy fun nyquil time!!! (sirens and horns go off all at once) Mood: groggy Music: I was threating to be threat

	2005.11.06  15.22 sometimes when you don't think things could get better, when you think you have maxed out on potential happiness at any moment, something extra-unordinary happens and you feel like jumping up in the air, and clapping both ankles together. you'll look goofy, but you'll love it. "we're clever, but were clueless, were just human. amusing and confusing, were tryin. but where is this all leading? we'll never know" Music: jack johnson

	2005.10.19  22.10 hero's, not unstrung, but hung, the stories they tell, they do not sing, all of this indifference, not told, but sung, why then, must the story be going. not concluded, then dawning, our hero's, not hung yet, but surviving, not being played like fools, like knights in chess, always moving, always dying. it seems they are all pawns, in the final act, we see who, and why this characater has been. what is his purpose? tragedy, drama, comedy, all of the above? death flaunts as a means to a way out, but wouldn't it be nice, if our main man survived, to tell his stories to other hero alike, being left alive, with a fairy tale life... what would life be like if we all knew our happy endings? and what if your prince charming turned out be a dark prince?

	2005.10.15  23.49 hello everybody that reads my journal. how are you today? great. i am leaving on sunday, (tomorrow) for mexico with my family. that will be fun. we will be there until wed. i like to abreviat, that and i didn't ever care to learn how to spell wednsday. that is pretty much it. have a good week everybody! bye.

	2005.09.29  12.22 alright, so beth told me to update this, so i will. i am back in arizona. it has been a fun couple of days so far. i really missed my friends. they are awesome. i watched the bob dylan documentary. it was really interesting, lasted two nights. so i had two nights of really interesting, incredibly inspiring documentary action. went to the rogue on tuesday night, had a few drinks, saw a lot of club 111 there. that was cool. yesterday included a bunch of driving in the gt stang. a walk to ez market. and an orange one and a half instead of an apple one and a quarter. good call. well, if anyone is interested, free show on friday at zia, lots of cool bands. "there is a spirit in the air, it lingers there, not ever really moving, floating with no cares... if it were to fly, we'd probably lose it"

	2005.09.24  11.23 ( Dreams feel so real somtimes ) Music: amnesiac- radiohead

	2005.09.21  22.47 When a bird flies overhead, he sees everything, he sees the trees, he sees the rocks beneath, the flourishing life, creating a kalidescope landscape. He notices, pays attention, calculates distance, wind speed as wind travels by, uplifting his hollow bones and feathers. The only time he forgets all this is when he sees she. When she flies into view, his eyes, thoughts, intentions, fly by with her. Soon, she becomes his motive. Soon, the trees, rocks and life dissapear, only to reveal new life. Twigs hold on to his dreams, while she sits in anticipation. When it comes time, the little one begins to leave. When it comes time, his life and intentions, give way to theirs. When the little one learns to fly overhead, he sees everything, he sees the trees, he sees the rocks beneath, he is the flourishing, creating the kalidascope we call life.

	2005.09.18  17.43 things i don't remember so yesterday was way cool. today though sucks because of yesterday, but i already predicted the shittyness of this day, so it was pretty easy to deal with. started out by going to the scripps beach party where free rubios and michelob were distributed. that was cool. i got smashed and we came home. i took a nap that way i wasn't too unprepared for the events to come. woke up around 8, went to the liquor store to get a big bottle of jager. mission successful. started taking shots as people were showing up for the party. an hour into the party until about four in the morning, i don't remember details. but there was dressed up alligators. how the hell'd we get here? had a conversation with some guys drinking a bottle, had a few swiggs with them. they were cool, but kept trying to tell me the key to universe through politics or something, until the girl who threw up in jordan's room came out and started disagreeing. this guy went and grabbed an awesomely delicatable ice-cream drumstick out of my freezer, i asked for a bite and he wouldn't give it to me. oh well. i wanted to sing the beatles the whole night, all you need is love, but i didn't get around to it. haha. these guys were doing coke off the kitchen counter, told me they would make me a line, i was like ok, but i ran away cause i didn't want to. it was about 4 in the morning, im sure those guys still aren't asleep. i went to bed but was severly spinning, so i put on the mercury program, everyone in the hallway left. haha! i guess it was loud. my roomate told me to turn it down, that was about 5, im sure he wasn't too psyched on that. oops. finally fell asleep. i wish i could remember more details from the earlier part of the party, but im sure it was just me running around yelling, going woo! mission accccccomplished. i wish some people would have come out from az though. we had fireworks and the cops didn't even come. soo yeah, oh, this ex-pro skater might take my room, so that is cool, if he does it will be october, so i will be back shortly. hope to see you all soon! lets throw an insane party when i come back part 3. Music: kid a

	2005.09.14  11.05 so last night i drank some beers and was on my phone, and dropped it. and today sucks because of that yesterday. i hate doing stupid shit like that.

	2005.09.12  13.13 hello everyone on livejournal, i am moving back to arizona. it is official. I love it here in san diego, but i love the people in arizona better. i miss you guys a ton. i still don't know whether it will be in october or november. depends when we can get a roomate take my spot. i guess you could call it a vacation here instead of moving. it's been real fun. I really wanted to get away and get things done. i have been writing a lot, and i love it. i seem to be accomplishing the things i wanted to accomplish. in arizona i was becoming lazy, this even lazier endevour has revitalized me. I just returned from a crazy weekend in vegas. my grandparents showed me around the first night, we walked around, watched the fountain in front of the bellagio. I love the inside of that place, it is so gorgeous. then we went back to Harrah's, where we were staying, and i decided to go for a walk on the town by myself. met some funny characters. went to the top of a parking structure to enjoy the view and a smoke. woke up the next morning, my dad was there and we gambled until the sun went down. free intoxication with game play! that is one cool thing about vegas. we walked around, a bit, went to spearmint rhino's, where there were 200 strippers working. i got thoroughly intoxicated in the front row of the show. i got bored, we went back to the hotel, i went up to the top of the parking structure to enjoy another cigar i hand rolled. woke up, drove home with more money in my pocket going home than i arrived with. vegas is a very fun city. i recommend going to all. anyways, i can't wait to see everyone again. it will be a little bit. but you can have as much of me when i get back as you can handle. I love you all. sincerely, brandon ps. my birthday party is on the 17th out here. Beth seems to think it is hers and alicia's, but really it is my birthday party. if anyone wants to come, then come! it will be huge, i'm sure. Music: sigur ros

	2005.09.07  01.08 so what is...is? so there is this thing that lives in the deepest darkest closets. it only comes out when no one is looking. it doesn't breathe oxygen, it breathes thoughts. it is the best way to describe it. because it is. it just is. so there is this thing that lives at the very root of every plant. it only comes out when the sun is shining on it. it breathes oxygen, but it is made up of thoughts. it is the best way to describe it. because it is. it just is. these things are completely different, best described with an it. both are its. both aren't it though. i would have to tell you to look at it differently. i would have to tell you. and that is just it. i can't tell you. it just is.

	2005.09.05  15.42 21 so it is the calendar date of when i was born today. i feel great to be alive, but my head hurts from alcohol consumption. went to iguana macks to have my power hour, after the previous hours had been with some good friends. still some people i haven't seen that i want to. still some people that i have seen, but want to see more of. thanks to everyone who has made this week/end so awesome. "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt" Music: the new death cab for cutie

	2005.08.26  03.02 roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light! this new dog came into my life today. i decided to name her roxy, some call her betty, some mickey, jordan doesn't know about her, but he will in the morning. she is adorable. she is about to have puppies. she is a pitbull, and that is is kind of scary, but no dog can be afraid of affection. i got drunk at a gay bar tonight, played pool against some guy, he was really skilled at pool. i was intimidated, but he lost, and the next guy lost too. i didn't win though. they just both lost to rules. i happened to be playing them. it was eighties night, you can't pass that up. i told this girl in a colorful dress that is was cool, she designs them for a theater, sort of a costume designer and she called me a harvey. i guess that means a plain white guy. most people there were dressed in black. i guess i didn't fit in too well. girl in the tent gets too drunk. drama with the girl in the tent. i guess she can't drive drunk. oh well, im drunk too. im not driving. i decide to stay out of it. im just excited to wake up and play with the new puppy and go to arizona when jordan gets back from beths! this lively detour has made me apprectiate the desert.

	2005.08.18  23.54 a bar so this guy walks into a bar, right, stops in the doorway for a second, just to scope it out. he wants to be sure what sort of crowd is out tonight. he likes em, walks in and grabs a seat on the bar. Its near the end, next an italian looking fellow, and a slightly larger jets fan. Wrong coast. the jets fan knows this and hides it behind a rustic jets hat and a pair of official top-gun status aviators. our guy hails over the bartender and orders one of their finest on draft. currency is exchanged, i'm sure he'll tip later. anyways, our guy is checking out the jets guy and the jets guy wasn't looking in any direction, sipping his beard after long drinks. He swills his own beer, and continues to gaze upon the individuals of the bar. Dude, dude, cute girl, dude, dude, regular, waitress, dude, group of underage looking girls, some professional tailgaters and their celebration of recent american football victory scoping on the girls, and finally that italian fellow. another swig, attention back to the cute girl. A wink, no real response. a look was given, but those types are hard to judge. a drink has passed, and so has a few minutes. bartender brings over another drink, still no tip. this italian fellow keeps looking in his direction, and our guy doesn't seem to pleased. alright, he's fine with it, just not very pleased. another swig, and his temper cools with the hops. italian guy asks," hey buddy," in that semi-tough protect my ego guy accent, "what's yo-ur name?" it's a pretty thick one. not like the rough brooklyn one, like the sicilian cool way. anyways, our guy answers back, "joe." "Joe," says the sicilian, "i killed a man." joe replies with a "holy shit!" because it suprised him, not because it was threatening. it was more of those drunken, i got to get something off my chest deals. "oh yeah?" orders the man a shot, he takes it, 30 second later passes out in his fist. the bartender knew he'd be safe there, he'd been doing it since he came over on a boat and walked across the country. tells the whole story after his third drink. draws a crowd sometimes, bartender told him one time that he should take his act on the road, the spicy italian didn't get it. resumed drinking the next day, same seat. our guy joe, finishes his drink. waits on the next. attention is drawn towards the waitress, after too many failed attempts at the cute girl. the winks weren't coming across very well on his part. maybe he should have bought her a drink, but then again, you'd have to have money for that. after a few more investments, i'm sure he'll have enough. he doesn't really pay much attention to the cheerleaders. adorably cute, however he'd have to fight off the crowd of drooling post-jocks in order to talk to any of them. they had watch pretty tight. this waitress is around 19-20, nice hips from leaning, a good sway while walking, shoulder length brunette hair pulled back into a pony tail for health code reasons. her jeans definately added to the look. you could tell she loved her job, even though she was constantly being harassed. especially in a place filled with guys. it was either that, or she just had a wonderful fake smile she could call upon to get her out of tough situations quickly. our joe called her over, slightly nervous because he gets nervous. she had sort of a preachers daughter look to her. he wanted her for sure, she could tell what he wanted. no one sitting at the bar needs a waitress unless you are either a) a bad tipper or b) a trying to hit on them. he was testing out the A B combo. results may vary. She bubbly walks over, "yes?" inquisitively looks him over. "can i help you?" "uh, yeah." brief pause, "i uh, want to know if you wanted to hang out after your shift? whatever time that is..." brief pause, looks him over again, and then again." "what would we do?" she asks. "we could just see where life takes us, baby." akward pause, cute waitress sways away with those amazing hips. our guy joe pulls out a dollar, throws it down as a tip, pushes out his bar stool. walks towards the door, blows the cute girl a kiss, she turns out to be around 40, after the drinks he feels it is all the same. Shameless Joe walks out of the bar and steps into the street. howls at the moon and walks 50 feet across the street into the next bar. Music: darkside

	2005.07.25  23.26 for all my lj friends, i will still be with you, however, all my arizona friends.... i am leaving to live in california. i love you all. it will always be my home. ill be back someday. peace, love, and @. haha.

	2005.07.10  22.28 i didn't think... i guess i don't think past a certain point. i go into things with one thing in mind, and i don't try to hold any conclusions past that. im horible at reading signs, so instead i guess how to get to that point. what does the future hold? there are exciting opportunities i want to explore, and by not putting everything i have into those things i will never see the full benifits. i don't want things to be akward. i hate discomfort. i usually feel it. it is a black cloud of negative energy and i can see it over the heads of some people. i want to walk with giants. that way they can see ahead, and tell me before i get there. i want to be sure of something. i know what i want, im a pretty stuborn guy that way, but im also too nice to tell someone a truth that needs to be told. so i stick myself in situations that are hard to get myself out of. time will fix the troubles i create, i guess. this pressure is building around me, is time to float. i will watch a flower bloom and enjoy the beauty it brings to my life. when it dies, i hope another flower grows in the same spot. im glad i can see the flowers. each color brings new adventures. each flower brings it own scent. each flower brings another way to think of how a flower should lead its short life. sometimes i wish i was a flower that could just pass by in someone new's life. Mood: crappy Music: stars are projectors- modest mouse

	2005.04.12  19.15 ( someone told me it was fun...so here it is ) Mood: peaceful Music: The Snake The Cross The Crown